It seemed a little over the top – not only a cruise on the best ship in the world, but also a golf theme – the icing on the cake for me. The catch, though, was that the other 400 passengers would be speaking German.

So it was that we boarded the Europa at Acapulco, on the Pacific coast of Mexico. Europa is described by the Berlitz cruise guide as “an exquisite retreat – a world of relaxed, contemporary cruising that is intensely welcoming.” Berlitz, which year after year votes Europa best ship afloat, says the lifestyle aboard is utterly exclusive.
It is hard to disagree.

Almost all cabins have private balconies, an integrated flat-screen TV/computer monitor with free movies, and service by Western European butlers and stewardesses.

Service is flawless, and it’s the little things you notice, like real glasses by the pool and fresh flowers everywhere. The enthusiastic young crew, although mostly German, all speak good English. In fact most of the passengers are German and Swiss, but this is not handicap to the English-speaker, and some cruises are offered in a bilingual mode.

Although our cruise was not bilingual, we never had a problem, not even in the restaurants, where menus were found in English. There is a main restaurant and two smaller, one Oriental and the other Italian. The Lido Café opens on to the deck and is ideal for outdoor meals including a lunch not to be missed – when the ship’s orchestra transforms into an oompa-pa band, German sausages sizzle and draught beer flows.
The captain had a dinner for the 30 golfers and it was immediately clear that in the golf group English was widely spoken.

Up top is the golf simulator where golfers can play big-name courses free of charge, and club and shoe rentals are available. The two hard-working golf pros also give coaching tips, although lessons have to be paid for. At each port the golfing group has its own bus, and when we arrive at a golf course buggies are waiting, each with clubs on board and clearly carrying the names of two players. When it’s done the pros take the clubs back to the ship. I tell you, it’s not hard to take.

Our itinerary was up the west coast to Zihuatanejo and Manzanillo, where we played at Las Hadas, the seaside resort where the movie 10 with Bo Derek and Dudley Moore was filmed, then docked at Cabo san Lucas, on the southern tip of the Baja peninsula.
Cabo, as it’s known, is the St Tropez of Mexico, where the discriminating traveller can find superb hotels such as Las Ventanas, and equally good golf courses. Being from the Europa, we naturally played one of the best, that of Palmilla, a One & Only resort.

Six days at sea followed, when the weather, it must be said, was not exactly balmy, and the Spanish/Polish couple who had been frequenting the FKK nude-sunbathing deck were forced into woolly jumpers. But there was plenty to do indoors, such as visiting the spa or taking dancing lessons. The sight of a group of middle-aged Germans learning the dance of Hawaii, the hula, will remain with me for ever.

Evening entertainment ranges from classic performances to comedy to a good old rock and roll man. Known as Mr Red Shoes, he does a very good impression of Jerry Lee Lewis and does everything to the piano except set it on fire. It has to be said that German comedy did not have the English-speakers rolling in the aisles, and there’s no point in looking for the casino because there isn’t one. But other entertainment did translate better, such as bingo, where the bingo caller was bilingual. Now there’s a giant step for mankind – bilingual bingo.

As Hawaii neared, the weather picked up, and then it was time to play at Hapuna on the Big Island, and then on Kauai, where we had a fine day at Poipu.

When it was all over we had a prize-giving and farewell drink at the Zanzibar, the bar and nightclub conveniently located next to the golf room. It being Hawaii, we stayed to play more golf, while the Europa sailed on serenely, on its way around the world no less.